spiritual – Polish The Soul

Releasing, Endings & New Beginnings

Posted on February 24, 2021February 24, 2021 by PolishTheSoul

As the full moon approaches this week, I feel an internal clock ticking softly to release all which I cannot control and everything that no longer serves me. Full moons are all about releasing and letting go. In the last 6 months I have encountered so much to let go of. Things deep in my past and things that are fresh in my memory. I spent the last year reevaluating myself, my life, my environment and priorities. In the midst of it all I found me and lost many things. The lost has brought me much relief but my heart still aches a bit at the thought of the “loss.”I am not referring to death. I am referring to cold connections and relationships.

I lost a part of myself and gained a new version of myself. For that I am eternally grateful to God, the universe and everyone who played a part in helping me shed the old me. I can’t say I miss her; she was doing an injustice to herself. Remaining small, fearful, anxious, negative and shameful was never the life I envisioned myself having. I released so much and still have much more to go. Life is a series of cycles. Beginnings and endings, something like chapters.

I “lost” relationships with not only myself but those in my environment. I use the word “lost” loosely here as I gained much more in return. I was able to release the things and people in my life which were holding me back from being the best version of myself.When I made the conscious decision to awaken spiritually, I had no idea really what to expect. Our prayers and intentions are answered in the strangest ways. I wasn’t expecting to “lose” relationships with people all because I was craving to grow in life.The more work I did internally, the larger the drift became. I prayed for peace, light, love and to let go of any darkness that has held me back and God did just that. He removed people from my life that didn’t have the best intentions for me, those whom have held me back and most importantly those who are surrounded by darkness.I don’t for a second question his decisions because I know where I am going not everyone can come. I have come to terms with that truth and reality. There is no room for darkness in my light. By darkness I am referring to jealousy, ego driven actions, fear, hate, negativity, gossip, toxicity, dishonesty, lack of self-love, self-hatred, stagnation, disconnect from the light and etc.

I can’t fill my own cup while trying to uplift or help others see the light of day. I can’t love myself if i’m absorbing the self-hatred of everyone around me. I can’t evolve spiritually if you hate the fact that I decided to better myself. I am not the light to anyone’s negativity.No, you cannot milk me for my light anymore. Why? Because I decided that I matter most and I deserve to feel lifted up rather than drained. I would have never woken up to these negative patterns had I didn’t begin my spiritual journey. Don’t get me wrong… I genuinely wish all that was “lost” love, light and happiness. In my heart, I hope they one day experience this feeling. The feeling of light, positivity and self-love that I feel at this moment. It truly is a beautiful feeling. The decision to shine on a light on your negative habits is not easy, but it’s worth it. I just cannot be the source of everyone’s light as we’re on different vibrational levels. Everyone has to be willing to do their own work. This isn’t a personal attack but a conscious decision to provide myself with things that empower and lift me.

The old version of me is gone! I gave myself a software update. My brain operates differently, my heart loves differently and my throat speaks differently. The biggest part of my journey has been allowing the walls around my heart to sink and practice compassion, forgiveness and unconditional love. It isn’t an easy thing to do, or lifestyle to implement but it is possible. I am not mad for the things I’ve lost or even the reasons or situations that led up to it. Saddened, yes… but that is a normal response because I think with my heart and not my head. As an empath, I am guilty of feeling too much but I am also guilty of thinking that part of myself was too much. I now realize that my sensitivity isn’t a burden but a blessing. Although I often accidently over absorb people’s energies and become overwhelmed just being around or speaking to them, I am grateful for this part of myself. When people become angry or exude negative emotions, when I am not properly prepared I become overwhelmed emotionally and physically. I get headaches from the emotions of others, and I become moody and drained. I have learned to choose my surroundings carefully. I quite honestly prefer to be alone with my own emotions and thoughts, which allows me to recharge and reconnect to my own emotions rather than the emotions that I picked up from people around me. Before learning how to navigate my empath nature I couldn’t identify the difference between my emotions and the emotions of others. I would walk around carrying around everyone’s burdens and couldn’t understand why I was always anxious for no reason. My body was on overload from all the external influences as well as my own.

I don’t know who needs to hear this… This is a sign to reevaluate your environment and take notice of the effects each and every single little thing has on you. You’re not required to remain loyal when the energy is toxic. You’re only required to be loyal to yourself.

Polish The Soul xx

change, faith, growth, hope, Inspire, light, passion, soul, spirituality, universe

Freeing post

Posted on June 6, 2020June 6, 2020 by PolishTheSoul

It feels like eternity since I wrote my last post. I’ve been in an interesting place. I’ve been quarantined with anxiety, writer’s block, and lack of inspiration. I have been sitting wondering when I’d get rid of my funk but I had not realized that this entire time has been full of inspiring lessons. I have decided to use my truth as inspiration.

I had always felt wise beyond my time. Like I had been here time and time again. I truly never felt in-tune with my peers as a child. I fed off solitude where I could think freely and be me freely. I hadn’t found like-minded souls, at the time I wasn’t fully aware that was what I needed. As a child, I knew I had been here many times before. None of it had felt “new.” I knew I had a big role here in this lifetime. The idea of souls caught my interest at a very young age. I am not sure actually how old I was when I began my fixation on the concept of souls. My curiosity grew much thicker as I got older. I would spend time researching past lives and souls and writing poetry. I was a natural poet from about 4th grade. What I had not known then was all the poems I had written was my soul talking on paper. I thought to search for answers meant researching. When in reality the answers have always been inside of me. I had all I needed.

As a child, I spent a lot of my childhood scared of the shallows that lurked in the corner of my eye. I would see and feel the presence of things beyond this realm in my childhood apartment. I would always see a man wearing a top hat standing in the foyer of my home. He didn’t have much of a face. He revealed himself as a shadowy figure. I had always thought I had imagined him and quite frankly I thought I was exaggerating the fact that he was would wear his top hat every time I saw him. It had become apparent that there was more than one spirit in my home. I remember crying one day as I sorted my laundry. I kept going through the laundry but kept my eyes on the door; I could feel the presence of something watching me. I unconsciously shut the door to the other side out of fear. I stopped paying attention and went on with life.

Until I was a freshman in college and I had recently lost a maternal cousin. I couldn’t attend his burial due to my school obligations, I had a big exam around the time of his death. A few weeks after his burial, I remember so vividly spending time with some of my family members. We had been drinking and as I realized I had reached my limit… I laid back in bed and closed my eyes; my head was spinning like a carousel. Then, an image of my cousin wearing a navy blue suit appeared in my line of sight. He was simply standing in front of a larger than life dark wooden door. He was simply standing in front of the door just looking at me. I opened my eyes in confusion and shared with my family what I had just experienced. I left out the tiny detail of the color of his suit. The memory of that sighting became a thing of the past until years later in the midst of a conversation I had asked my mom what he had been buried in out of curiosity and she said in a Navy blue suit. I couldn’t believe it; I hadn’t attended his service. I had no way of knowing what he had been wearing. He appeared to me in a navy blue suit years before. Many years have passed since that evening and I can still imagine the image of him in my head.

Within the last four years, I had begun to experience things more frequently, seeing and hearing things beyond this realm. I normally, toss and turn through the night as a result of the chatter and feeling a presence in my bedroom. A few years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night and glanced in the direction of my bedroom door, and I witnessed the shadow of a small angelic like figure staring at me from the edge of my bedroom door. I remember the white dress and wings sticking out beside her as she looked into my room. Since that evening, I have tried to avoid looking at the entryway of my room out of fear.

I have been spooked many nights which have caused me to jump in my mom’s bed. In my head, I feel safer sleeping with someone else on those difficult nights. One night, in particular, I had run away from my room and found refugee in my mom’s room. Just my luck… As I dozed off and had finally gotten comfortable enough to fall in a deep sleep. I heard a “shhh.” I woke up instantly, looked over at my mom, and saw that she was out cold. That night I realized it didn’t matter where I slept and with whom. Now, it’s so “normal” but still fills me with so much fear.

A few months ago, while at work. I had been trying to channel my sister’s energy from a distance. I closed my eyes and tried to relax and imagine her. In the midst of trying to do so, the date January 2nd popped into my head. I immediately knew my sister’s friend who had passed away just a year before due to diabetic complications. I responded quickly and said his name. He said yes and as we began to talk briefly, he wanted to apologize to my sister for hurting her as she had taken his death pretty hard. I asked him if he had anything else to tell her. He replied.“window.” I replied.“window?”. He replied, “she’ll know what I mean.” I quickly grabbed my phone and texted my sister to ask what was her relation to a window and her friend. She couldn’t what he had meant. As the day had come to a close, I sat with her and we spoke our day and I shared with her my experience earlier in the day. She still hadn’t pieced together the message. A few minutes later, she storms into my room to share what he might have meant. On the anniversary of his death, she sat in front of her bedroom window and read him a letter she had written him, where she wrote I wonder if you’re ok and she had wondered if he had been there with her. In excitement, I told her that was the message, he was there. We went on with the evening and went to bed. The very next evening, My sister and I sat with our mom and told her about the message I had received. She was stunned! We ended the conversation, and my sister began to shuffle music on her phone. We often listen to 80s music and sing hopelessly. Time after Time by Cyndi Lauper, came on which is one of our favorites. I laid on my mom’s bed and began singing as usual. I normally sing the song without really paying attention. I sang “Watching through windows, you’re wondering if I am okay.” It took me a few seconds to catch that verse after singing the words. We were floored at what we had just heard. He used the song to confirm that he was there with her that night as she read the letter to him. That was such a magical moment for not only her but for myself. It was such a great feeling to have been able to share that message with her.

I don’t share with people this part of myself. I act as if it doesn’t exist. Lately, I have had the nudging feeling to finally let it out. To tell my truth. I had been avoiding it for months, out of fear of judgment. I knew deep down my spirit guides had been guiding me down this path. I still have so much work to do spiritually. In the last few months, I have read several books in hopes of helping me navigate my ability. Every day I learn more and more. This is not to say that I longer get startled when they come by at night. Last night was a pretty difficult night; I had to ask my little sister to sleep with me.

This is me. This is my truth!

Polish The Soul

selflove

Crystal Love Affair

Posted on March 2, 2020April 10, 2020 by PolishTheSoul

There’s no secret that I am a very spiritual woman by nature. I’ve had crystals in the past that I hadn’t done much with in the past as I had not understood the power stored within them. The first set of crystals I had purchased was on an Esty shop online. Looking back I’d say I wasn’t ready to commit to the lifestyle. Until, about last summer when I randomly found myself going in the wrong direction and I discovered a spiritual shop. I knew in my heart I had gotten lost on purpose in a sense. I walked into the shop and instantly felt at ease with the cleansing aroma in the air. I roamed around the store and looked at the different crystals they had and spiritual objects. I felt compelled to purchase a Rose Quartz bracelet. I had fallen completely in love with the bracelet, I instantly cleansed it and put it on my wrist right after receiving my receipt. What I hadn’t known at the time was that crystals choose you. While purchasing my Rose Quartz bracelet I had been memorized by this white and gray marble bracelet. I didn’t pay it much mind and I continued to pay attention to the Rose quartz because I felt I would benefit from Crystal in terms of compassion and self-love.

Several weeks later I returned to the store and roamed around again as if I had never seen the store. In complete amazement with the vibe and energy all around me. I bent down to check out some candles with crystals attached that stuck out to me on a self and sure enough the white and grey marble crystal had found its way in my path again. I scanned the shelf to read the labels on the other candles then again my eyes met the crystal. It was labeled as a calming candle. I gave in and picked up the candle that had the crystal attached to it. I read the benefits of the candle and kept it in my hand. I had no intention of putting it down. I knew that candle had been left over for me, it was the very last one of its kind on the shelf. I took that as a sign from the universe.

I had soon learned the name of the crystal ‘White Howlite’ thanks to the woman by the register helping me check out. I had walked out of the store with my candle as happy can be. Later that afternoon, I finally made it home and was eager to test out the candle. So… I prepared myself to meditate with the candlelit and the crystal in hand. I felt calm as can be as soon as I lit the candle. It was then and there that I discovered my life had just changed. I fell in love with the crystal and haven’t left it home since. It puts my mind in such a state of peace. My body felt light and airy. I returned to the store about a month later to purchase the ‘White Howlite’ bracelet I had been memorized with during my first visit.

I often, allow myself to be consumed with anxiety. I used to get flustered very easily and since wearing White Howlite I have noticed such a difference in my behavior. The White Howlite crystal broke the mold for me about understanding how crystals could change my life. I often, visit the store sometimes just to roam around and soak up the energy. Usually, I walk out with a shopping bag because I really can’t help it. Since then I’ve purchased 4 different bracelets, about 10 different crystals from the shop alone and I also have a large cluster of Amethyst for my bedroom and a Buddha. I turned my room into a recharging center for my energy. I’ve increased my pocket collection from one to about 5. The bulge in my pocket often looks a little odd in the silhouette of my pants but it is a must. I even brought back out my old crystals that I had brought years ago that I never found a use for before.

Last week, I mediated with a handful of my crystals and I had gotten so deep into my trance I could feel the palm of my hand pulsating. I was so fascinated and had never experienced a moment like that before. It was then that I realized how POWERFUL crystals are. I had so much energy in my left hand that I could feel my left-hand pulsate. I welcomed the energy in with open arms.

Tips for introducing crystals into your lifestyle:

Be open to receiving.
Open your heart and mind.
Cleanse them before introducing them to your energy.
Cleanse them every so often.
Set intentions: Tell the crystal what you what to receive.
Listen to your intuition.
Meditate with them.
Pray with them.
Speak to them.
Be ready to commit to the practice!
Carry them everywhere you go.
Crystals should be carried on the left side of the body.
You can carry them in your left pocket.
Ladies: stick them in your bra on the left side. Closer to your heart the better.
Too many crystals all at once can negatively affect you.
Research! Never stop learning about them.
Not all crystals work well together. Be cautious.