love – Polish The Soul

Discovering what I was capable of and trusting it was a huge task for me. I in a sense feared who I am because I couldn’t understand it. I felt honored to have been given this gift but at the same time I couldn’t shake the fear of it all. When I decided to move forward and honor my truth, I was convinced I could help others find solace as a conduit for the other side. I had not thought about the healing I would experience for myself, just by standing up and leading despite my reservations. I found healing when I was not looking for it, I developed a relationship with my grandmother whom I had not known much when she was alive.

I lost my paternal grandmother four years ago. Ironically, on the 1st of November. 111 is a highly spiritual number and is linked to our spiritual awakening journey. Reminding us to pay attention to signs that the Universe is supporting our journey. Our job is to tune in and try to decipher the signs. 111 tells us not to be afraid to follow our intuition and trust the guidance we receive.

Growing up I had not felt much of a connection to her. I lived in the states, and she lived in the Dominican Republic. There were barriers all around our relationship. As a kid I didn’t care much for learning how to speak Spanish to be able to communicate with relatives. In my lifetime I could count on my fingers the amount of times I got to see her. She didn’t talk much, and we didn’t speak much over the phone. As I got old enough to understand the differences, I felt between my paternal and maternal grandmother; I realized we didn’t have much of a connection in comparison to the connection I had with my maternal grandma. We laughed, we joked and I knew how to identify her forms of affection. I never had that pleasure with my paternal grandmother.

When she passed I was a little confused as what to feel. I was sad, I cried at her funeral and can still hear the sounds of the hammers hammering into her casket to protect her casket from being stolen. In many cemeteries in the Dominican Republic, thieves come in and steal the caskets and remove the corpses to resell the caskets. It’s devastating to even imagine.The knocking sounds that was impeded into my memory is quite disturbing. As the months after her death began to pass, I began to notice my connection to the other side heightening again as it did years ago. At the time I didn’t correlate the connection to my grandmother at all. I was certain it was another spirit; I created a relationship with as I was deeply affected by her death as it home for me personally. I began to see white butterflies everywhere; my heart just couldn’t allow me to fathom the idea that it could have been my grandma. I figured she wouldn’t be the one making contact because we just did not have a “deep connection.” It wasn’t until about a year ago that I finally crawled out of the rock I was living under. I had an aha moment in which made me re-evaluate some of the signs I was seeing over and over again. I had begun seeing “111” and “624” more often than ever. I sat back and realized she had passed on 11/1, and I had grown up believing her birthday was 6/24. The signs were all there, I was just too blind to see them. Perhaps the pain I felt, placed a blindfold over my eyes. She passed away, and our stale connection was sealed forever, or so I thought. I believed she did not love me, because I did not feel her efforts to communicate with me which saddened me deeply. Creating some sort of void in my heart.

As I began exploring my ability to connect with spirit, I found myself in a meditative state in which I encountered my grandmas spirit. She appeared to me as splash of yellow. As her yellow silhouette approached my minds eye, my intuition automatically made me think of her. At the time I still had trouble trusting my intuition. So, I asked for her to validate my feeling. I asked for her to hold my hand.A few minutes later, I felt tingling kind of sensation on my left hand. It did not take me a long time to realize that was the sign I had asked for. I felt so full of emotion. I began to cry in the middle of my mediation; I just couldn’t control my emotions. I don’t know how else to explain what it felt like. I just know I felt so overwhelmed with love. That was one of many encounters I shared with her which happens to be one of my favorites.

Two months ago I learned how to channel specific spirits and receive messages from them. I had done readings for those closest to me, just to practice. I had an intuitive nudge to channel my grandma. I had no idea what to expect.I just knew something told me that I should. So I did just that. Although, I had begun to communicate with her more often and opened myself up to receive those signs from her I still had an energetic blockage separating us. Of course I did not know that, but she knew that. She took that time to give me a profound message which I wasn’t expecting.

I opened up the mediation with the intention to receive what I needed to know for my highest good. Two months ago today, she gave me this message:

“Healing hurts and sometimes love does to unless you know how to love.Its like driving a car. You have to know how it operates. You have to know how love works. It works differently for everyone; my “car” was different. I had my own way of driving. I loved in my own way. I love you, and I am sorry for making you feel any less than that. My granddaughter, my son’s daughter… I hold you with me. Open your heart to forgive me, so you can feel me. Being on this side everything is different, I understand more.”

I felt a sense of relief after receiving this message. It was so profound. She was absolutely right. We hold those around us responsible for the way in which they “love us” without understanding that we all love differently. I spent so much time comparing my relationship with my maternal grandma to the relationship I had with my paternal grandma. I created a foundation of what a relationship between a granddaughter and grandmother should look like based on my experience with my maternal grandma. I created an illusion which separated me from love. My ego convinced me that the love wasn’t there because the connection was different. Now that I have learned to differentiate the differences between ego, illusions and love, I understand my faults as well. My body was powered by ego and not by love.Ego is messy. I don’t want to be powered by ego any longer. I want to be powered by love. I want to see the light in others, despite our differences and their inabilities to live up to my “expectations.”

I hope this blog post has helped you open your eyes just a bit more to love. I hope you take this as a sign to fix the relationships you have with the living and there is ample time to reconnect and heal with those who are no longer living. My grandma Amalia helped me see life differently, all the way from the other side and I cannot thank her enough for doing so. I can feel her with me as I open up my heart to you all. I know she must be incredibly proud right now and jumping for joy. I finally tied the lesson together she has been trying to teach me for about four years, all by speaking my truth and sharing this with you all.

Love is real. Love heals all.

Polish The Soul 🤍✨

These relationships are my favorite, not just romantically but relationships in general. I have crossed paths with a few souls in this lifetime who I know in my heart I share a soul connection with. These connections are special and explainable. The love shared in these connections go beyond the common “I love you!” These connections are deep in the roots of our beings. These souls understand you and you can feel their essence within yours as if we were connected at the soul.

Maternal relationship

The connection I share with my mom is extraordinary. Very much far from ordinary. We’re so In tune with one another’s feelings and emotions. I often feel the sensation that she needs a hug. 99% of the time my intuition is spot on. When she’s sad, I can literally feel her emotions on me like a shirt on my back. I sense when she’s having nightmares and wake up her up from them. Often times I am one step ahead of her in a spiritual sense. My mom has somewhat of an exciting career which often sends my intuition through the roof. She’s a police officer. Many times I had woken up in the middle of the night to check on her when she used to work overnight tours. I would wake up randomly and pick up the phone to call her immediately because I knew deep down something was going on or about to happen. Usually, my calls were are warning calls. Thank goodness! Our souls are connected through lifetimes. I often think to myself that we may have been twins in another lifetime or perhaps our roles were reversed and I was her mother in another lifetime. Some may call it mother’s intuition, I call mine daughter’s intuition.

Romantic relationship

This may sound naive but I promise you this isn’t one of those stories. My desire is to bring this topic to the table and dissect my experiences.

The moment I met my boyfriend I felt we had already met one another. It was a strange but calming feeling. I had never experienced a moment of that nature prior to our meeting. It was as if my soul was recognizing his. I had seen his photos and a part of me felt as though his face was so familiar to me. I couldn’t pin point why, until months after dating. I began to understand the connection was profound. We’re so different but the same person in a sense, as if we share the same soul. I had always imagined the ‘man of my dreams’ a certain way, even down to the soft romantic music in his music library. Ironically, the man I had created in my imagination is spot on to him. I stopped believing in coincidences after I began to understand the idea of synchronicity. The working definition of synchronicity: The simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection. In other words, the universe speaks to us through synchronicity. I am convinced the ‘man of my dreams’ was someone I had already known for some time from another lifetime. Cause’ how else could I have created a man from thin air and actually find that this man exists?! Every single trait! What if I was just remembering him from another time? Again, this isn’t some fairy tale love story. I am trying to unravel the idea of soul connections and how I have perceived them in my life.

I recently read an article regarding the idea of soul families which made much sense. Those undeniable connections that you share with others may be linked to your soul family. I have met a few others but these two are the most profound of them all. There is a little girl in my life who I sense has an extraordinarily old soul. My intuition tells me as she grows older our souls will collide into one another. I can already see the signs of her immensely whole soul. I can feel my soul remembering hers.