I have become more of myself than I have ever been before. While trying to conceal my deepest desire to be a writer, I thought I could still be true to myself and take on another journey that didn’t involve writing as my profession. The reason I hid this piece of my life was simply that I didn’t want to release the emotional version of myself. I always believed I had to differentiate from ‘me’ and my emotions. I never wanted people to know how passionate and emotional I am. As if it were a defect. In these last few months, I have changed so much and evolved. I’ve learned to let go of the invisible steering wheel in my life little by little. As some like to say “Jesus, take the wheel!” It hasn’t been an easy road to follow but the more I discover things about life and love, the more I feel connected with myself on a spiritual level. I’ve even decided to detach myself from outcomes. I am winging it through life from here on out because I know GOD has me. I finally submitted my grad school application for Creative Writing programs. I have no idea what I’ll do once I finish my degree. I just know I’ve been called to follow this hunch. My soul feels at peace with this decision I have made. I am positive I will encounter life-changing people/situations while working on my MFA. I am open to refining my craft and learning more about the field.
My journey has been scripted since before my birth. No matter where I end up, I know I will be going in the direction I was intended to go on. My heart fills calm and light as I embark on this new professional venture. Yes, I feel a tiny bit anxious but that is ok. I am willing to give it to God to hold on to for me. I hope he has a huge reusable shopping bag to hold all my fears. I feel like a basketball player just tossing up my fears like a basketball. God is certainly a great catcher! Allow God to catch your fears and empty your shopping bag of burdens. If you don’t identify with God, that is ok. Just adjust to whom you identify with. Just know there is a higher power guiding you through your fears and bringing you to light.
Polish The Soul xx