For as long as I have known myself in this body, in this lifetime. I have been afraid to be seen. I created a world where I could blend in to avoid attention. I have single-handedly perfected this talent. After years of hiding in the limelight, I realized I didn’t want to live this way anymore. As if a mirror had magically been placed in front of me. I was forced to look through the mirror and see myself for who I really am. The woman I saw staring back at me was someone who had a lot to say, a woman who wished to be seen and heard. A woman on a stage taking control. There is a distinction between ‘who you are’ and ‘who you think you are’. I had dug so deep in hiding that I hadn’t noticed the cocoon I had created around me. There have been many occasions where I have felt invisible but failed to realize that I caused the feeling of invisibility because I wanted to blend in. You can think of me as a Lizard, camouflaging in every environment.
In school I always found comfort sitting in the back of the room in a corner. I hate sitting in the middle of a room where everyone can see me. I over think during social events. I prepare myself mentally for social outings. I often, wonder how I will survive my wedding. Traditionally, the bride is the center of attention. I don’t know how to comfortably be the center of attention.
My Truth: I squirm with discomfort when I am stared at. I dislike being the center of attention.
My NAKED Truth: My mind goes on overdrive when I am in sight. I begin to think if the person is actually looking at ‘Sasha’ the spiritual being or are they pinpointing my flaws. That has all to do with me and less do with others. I have taken responsibility for this behavior. I acknowledge my thoughts and have decided to choose again. I choose love. My alternate world has begun to implode, as I now know I have the biggest desire to be seen. I want the world to see me and hear the words I have to say. My journey is just beginning. I am willing to be seen!
Polish the Soul xx