Finding the “right” person sometimes takes trial and error. You may hit it out the ball park your first time around or like many others you may have to kiss a few frogs. There are relationships where people just are magnetized to one another. The sparks instantly fly the moment the two of you meet. The day of my first date with my boyfriend which was also the first time we met, I was so nervous. I had to puke. I was sweating but I was cold all at the same time. I was literally nervous the entire way downtown to meet him. The moment we first made eye contact and he smiled at me all my jitters disappeared. Everything that has followed after that day has just made complete sense.
Regardless of your situation you need to know there isn’t anything wrong with you if you haven’t found the person that treats you how you deserve to be treated. There are several components to this… You have to be willing to
1. Respect yourself
2. Stay true to you
3. Don’t dim your light
4. Be willing to do things differently to attract someone different.
The point of all this is to experience something different. Nine out of ten a man will treat you how you treat yourself. He’s simply following your lead. You’re setting the tone for him. If you show him you respect yourself, it’ll end up two ways: he’ll try and play himself anyway or if he’s a gentleman that is actually interested in you he will proceed respectfully. As for the other guy who played himself send his ass packing girl. He ain’t sh*t, clearly! If it starts off on the wrong foot that sometimes may set a tone for the rest of the relationship. In my experience i have learned that relationships should be “easy”. It should not feel forced. For example, sometimes I forget I am hanging out with my boyfriend because It just feels like we are best friends binge watching shows together. It may sound strange but I know it’ll make sense to some of you.
The connection should be effortless, it’s either there or it isn’t. Simple. Both parties should be in sync, meaning they should have the same destinations for the relationship. If one person wants children and marriage and the other one is just testing the waters. Then I am not sure how it’ll work out. There should be no bullsh*t bushes obstructing you and your partner. I have experienced the ball game at different dugouts. If you haven’t caught on, the dugouts symbolize healthy and unhealthy relationships. When it’s unhealthy you can see it from far and everyone can see. You may be the only one who can’t see it but everyone else can certainly see it. In situations where people have warned you about your relationship, you cannot just brush it off as someone “hating”. Chances are the person you called a “hater” was just looking out for your best interest. You should acknowledge the persons advice and then decide how you will proceed. Don’t disregard them instantly.
It most certainly hurts like a bag of bricks hit you but take it like this: that is God giving you a nudge and saying wtf are you doing?! Didn’t you see all of the signs I sent you? You don’t need that in your life. It feels terrible at the time but that isn’t the end of your story. That is just an end of a chapter. When reading books we don’t read backwards we read going forward. Remember that!
The day you figure out that you found the “right” person it’ll all make sense to you. You will experience a aha moment. You will instantly know why it didn’t work with anyone else. When you do find something precious. Protect it like a baby. Nourish it. Keep it private. Protect it from any negativity. Don’t smother it…. Just keep it close enough to protect. Give one another space and a chance to miss one another. Lastly, most importantly your relationship shouldn’t be your identity. I have seen people consume themselves in their relationships. You should have your own things going and so should your partner.
Polish the Soul