I recently graduated from college and found myself feeling incredibly “lost”! Listen folks…. I know it’s normal and it happens to us all somewhere in life but no one never really told me how hard it would be. How defeated I would feel. The level of anxiety and stress I feel just thinking about committing myself to one career path is incredible. Not to mention I am a super indecisive person. I always think about the “what if’s”. My biggest fear is waking up one morning and finding myself discontent with my career choice. Throughout my study as a undergrad I spent just as much time changing majors. I am extremely imaginative when it comes to picturing myself in the future. I have imagined myself in a hundred different career paths. I can’t be the only human who can’t seem to commit to a career. I don’t even think I know what I am passionate about anymore, I thought I knew prior to graduating. After graduating, I honestly know anything anymore. I thought finally finishing school would be so much easier but it has been the complete opposite.
Several factors have contributed to my frustrations. The largest is just simply not knowing what to focus on. The second is knowing I’d like to return to school and work towards a masters but I don’t even know what programs to look at because I’M CLUELESS. I would blame the third reason on my level of maturity for my age. I have always been wise beyond my years. I think my problem is I get caught up in my own head thinking I am older than I really am. Sometimes I really do forget how old I am.. I can admit to myself I am pretty hard on myself and I set the bar pretty high. I feel well into my adulthood when in actuality I’m only 24. I know I have plenty of growing to do and have plenty time on my hands to gain life experiences. I just can’t help but feel like I should have it all figured out by now. I should know what I am passionate about. I should know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I should have found my niche by now. I know I’m insane for thinking this way because I am still fairly young.
At this moment in my life the only thing I know for certain is that…. I want to live life knowing that I am an example of the change I wish to see in the world. Hence the Ghandi quote, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” I don’t know what the future holds and that is my biggest frustration just not knowing. I wish I could just choose a career and know for certain that 25+ years later I will be satisfied with my choice.
-Sasha “Polish the soul”